Forever

I'm a lucky cat.  Indeed, Felix is the Latin word for lucky.  Although I've moved about a bit, I've got my Forever Ooman and wherever I live, she's there.  Sure, there were the boomerang years, when Ooman disappeared for about 10 weeks at a time for school or university, but she always came back. 

I was found under a shed.  How I got there is another story, but I was very young and very scared and it involved two very large dogs.  Then I was put in a deep bucket (yes, a bucket - I couldn't get out) in a florist's in the hope someone would see me and rehome me.  Eventually, Ooman's own Forever Ooman peered over the edge and took me home.  The rest, dear reader, is history but it could have turned out very differently.  Like I said, I'm a lucky cat.

We're not all as lucky as I have been and recently, the idea of a 'forever' anything has been on my mind for a couple of reasons.  Firstly, Thursday was black cat awareness day.  Apparently, Oomans are less likely to rehome a completely black cat.  Black cats are the least likely to be adopted from shelters, which means they are the least likely to find a forever home or a Forever Ooman. 

Secondly, I was having a mooch through t'interweb and came across Sketches.  Sketches also has a long road ahead of her before she finds a forever home and a Forever Ooman.  But for a timely intervention under that shed, I could have been like Sketches. 

Everyone deserves a Forever Someone.  I've got Ooman.  Ooman's got me.  I'll always lick her face cream off at night, chew her toes and leave the occasional hair in her lunch box to remind her that I love her.  In return, she'll always come back.  She'll always be there in the evenings to snuggle up with and she'll always rub that spot under my chin. 

She's my Forever Ooman and I'm her Forever Cat.

Forever.

Under the duvet

Now that the nights are drawing in and (with the exception of today) the temperature has started to drop, it is perfectly acceptable - nay, expected - that you should spend 23.5 hours a day under the duvet.  If your Ooman is willing to move your water, food and litter tray for you, by all means spend that remaining half hour under there too.

If your Ooman tries to shoo you out from under the duvet, be sure to do the same to your Ooman.  I recommend chasing any toes that may peep out of the bottom of the duvet, and biting Ooman's nose (gently, but with meaning) 10 minutes before the alarm goes off in the morning.

If you've noticed your Ooman is a bit snotty, restrict yourself to the toes until it passes.

Staring

It's been a while, dear reader, I know.  Sorry.  Ooman has been especially busy finishing her degree which seems to involve long hours staring at a blank screen, sheets of photocopied paper or the wall.  She is doing a degree in staring.

Anyway, it has provided the perfect opportunity to train The Child in the art of Getting Ooman's Attention.  We started small, you know, sitting close to Ooman and purring, waving your bum in Ooman's face, sleeping on the laptop (Ooman wasn't at all keen on this one) and chasing the pen Ooman was writing with. 

Then The Child got all creative and brought Ooman a bird. 

Well, four actually. 

And Ooman just stared at them.  No amount of bum-waving or lappy-napping would sway her.

Who knew a dead bird or two would have such power?

Cat-sitters

Every so often, Ooman disappears.  A weekend away, is understandable.  Indeed, I've enjoyed a couple of weekends away adventuring in my time.  More than a weekend is wholly unacceptable.  I am a cat.  I do not like change.

If you find your Ooman has abandoned you for a sun-baked beach or similar, you may notice that you have been assigned a cat-sitter in their absence.  There are two types of cat-sitter, live-in and live-out.  The latter will simply turn up a couple of times a day to serve food, empty the litter tray and have a quick chat.  They never stay for long enough, so you must maximise your time with them.  Ignore them completely. As soon as they head for the door, be as affectionate as you can to convince them to stay for ten more minutes.  Once they move back to the sofa, ignore them again.  Repeat as necessary.

The live-in cat-sitter is more fun, especially if it happens to be a housemate, rather than a stranger moving in for a few days to keep you company.  Again, ignore them.  Show no affection at all.  Pretend they aren't there. 

Wait until they go to bed.

If they sleep with the door open, get into bed with them, knead them affectionately, chase their toes under the duvet, lick any exposed skin and shed as much hair as you can on to their nose/mouth region.  If they sleep with the door shut, serenade them in full voice and scratch the door to provide a suitable percussion accompaniment.

On their return, your Ooman will be met by a grumpy housemate/cat-sitter who will probably refuse to cat-sit in future and a door which will need replacing.  It will be incredibly difficult for Ooman to find a cat-sitter for subsequent trips once the word gets out.  Your Ooman will be too soft/worried about the doors to leave you without supervision and so will probably not go away again.  Problem solved.

What's going on?

What usually happens on a morning:

The sun wakes up.
The son wakes up.
I wake up.
Son and I wake Ooman up.
Ooman's alarm clock wakes up.

Whole process takes about an hour.

What's happened on recent mornings:

The sun thinks about waking up.
Ooman's alarm clock wakes up.
Ooman wakes up.
Ooman wakes us up.

I'm not complaining, as Ooman wakes us up by bringing us breakfast.  And the sunny garden seems to have returned.  I'd be interested to hear an explanation for this sudden change in behaviour.  Is Ooman ill? 

Sleepy

I do like Ooman when she's all sleepy and warm.  When she's all snuggly and cosy I just can't resist warming my paws on her face, cuddling up round her neck and purring in her ear.  I even like the spluttery noise that she makes if I keep my tail across her nose and mouth.  She's so sweet when she staggers out of bed to fix breakfast for me and The Child, stumbling around the kitchen all rumpled and sleep-fuddled and wholly malcoordinated.  I do try not to let The Child rub himself against her legs until she's properly awake though, just the thought of the slappy sound of Ooman landing face down on the kitchen floor is enough to put me off my breakfast.

Affection

Ooman's good to have a snooze on,
Chase some toys around the room, or
Share the duvet until noon and
Build a pillow lair.

Kibbles cometh from the Ooman
And in the evening there is room on
Ooman's lap to sit and groom and
Cover her in hair.

So if you have a needy Ooman
Or you feel you need your Ooman
Do be sure to knead your Ooman
To show her that you care.

Resolutions

I will find a way of opening the fridge door.

I will spend more time snoozing under the radiator in the hallway.

I will try remember to use the scratching post, rather than the sofa.