The three second rule - myth #1

I don't like to allow Ooman or any of her kind in the kitchen unsupervised.  They all have nasty habits of cleaning up food when they drop it.  Food on the work surfaces is for Ooman to eat.  Food on the floor is for cats to eat.  If you've dropped it, you've reliquished it to your cat.  None of this 'three second rule' nonsense.  It's mine, go get your own food (from the work surface).  Absolutely, definitely DO NOT pick it up off the floor and make me have to dig in the bin for it later.  You'll only be grumpy when your sleep is disturbed by me wrestling with the bin lid at 2 am.

It's hard work being me...

...or any cat for that matter.  Fluid mechanics is complicated.  Don't believe me?  You try drinking water out of a bowl on the floor with grace, decorum while maintaining a dry face and whiskers.  Or just read this.